Many women are widely familiar with the thrill of the hunt…the hunt for the perfectly shopped item that is. My mom was a master hunter. She has excellent taste in clothes. She can discern clothes that look good on her, and those that are not. She has always liked simple clean lines, without the busy-ness of design. Even now, her fashion sense and demand for quality, flattering clothes still remains. She called me in a panic on the weekend.
“We have–to go shopping,” she declared to me on the phone.
“Mom”, I said. “Why do we need to go shopping? What do you need?”
“I don’t know”, she stated firmly,”BUT I need clothes.”
I wanted to say, Sure, we could go; but in a post-Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, and Cyberweek world*, I was pretty much shopped out. Just thinking about shopping, was bringing on some post-shopping blues…and with the recent fury and frustration over pants trying on, well, I wasn’t sure what would happen.
To be quite honest, my mom doesn’t really need clothes. She has a closet of clothes. What I feel she needs is to feel good about herself and her situation. She’s battling depression right now, and anxiety. So everything is a focus, and every focus brings worry and anxiety. It’s a big circle, frankly, that feeds itself.
Having gone on several clothes shopping trips now, I feel that I know what my mom is seeking. She’s down, and she’s seeking that “Up” feeling.
She doesn’t need clothes, per se. More like she needs the thrill of finding the perfect thing that fits just right. The perfect piece of clothing, that is pleasing to hold, soft to the touch, and fits just right. It’s what every “shopper” needs, and wants. And, afterwards, there is a kind of glow that comes over the shoppee, that is a warmth and happiness in making the right choice, and the satisfaction in having found it, after perhaps, much searching.
My mom was a consummate shopper. Frugal to a T, yet she would splurge now and then, with money she “saved” from various birthdays and anniversary gifts from me. Long after individual gifts were pooled, she would proudly announce the “item” that I’d bought her. It brought her great meaning to not only acquire the item, but also to have earned it over time; a kind of delayed gratification.
I ended up bringing her to the local mall. We discovered a new shop that had actually existed for a long time that we’d always thought was pretty dowdy. They have her size, which please me to no end. A few things we tried, and surprisingly, she was not the smallest size. We found clothes! They were flattering on her.
Unfortunately, after that, she told me that she had forgotten she would have to try on the clothes. Lol. Not only does she want the perfect fit for the perfect clothing, they should magically go on her without being tried on! wouldn’t that be a feat for the shopping manufacturers?!
The search for the “Up” moment, immediately ceased. ::Sigh::
*Note to reader: I wrote this in 2017.