How is it that women and men can interpret a simple phrase so differently?
Mom: “I’m gaining weight“.
Dad: “You’re fine.”
Mom: “My pants don’t fit”
Dad: “You weigh the same as you did last week”
Mom: “I’ve gained weight”
When my mom says “I’ve gained weight”, what she means is: “My pants don’t fit like they did last week. Something’s shifted. Perhaps it’s just water weight, but it’s flowed to my hips, or my butt, or some place in between, and now, my pants are pushing against my tummy, and I’m oh, so, uncomfortable. The pants that I bought just last week just don’t fit the way they fit last week”.
Left unsaid is the part that says,”You better do something about it, mister!”
It’s true – hormones, water weight, that slice of cheesecake you indulged in last week? They all cause our bodies to shift in ways that men’s either don’t shift, or don’t shift enough that they notice or care. I’m saying typically men here, as some men are just as weight conscious as women. In this case though, my dad has no understanding about this at all. He is extremely literal. As far as he’s concerned, if you stepped on the scale on Monday and weighed 120lbs; then, waited a week, and weighed yourself again on the next week’s Monday and weighed 120lbs, there is no.way.you gained weight. You’re simply the weight you’ve always been. Never mind that you actually did a mini-roller coaster up and down from 120 to 130 down to 125, and then, inched down to 120 over the last 2 days by attempting to hold your tummy in, and eating less!
Where it matters most is in pants and skirts. Yes, I know I’ve written a lot about pants these days..it’s on my mind; more often than most. Brought there mostly by my mom’s litany of complaints. A cry for relief to improve some margin of happiness. (Get that pressure off my tummy! is coming in loud and clear – I can’t zip!). In the old days, she simply would have done what we mostly do :
(a) grin and bear it
(b) pull the shirt out, or unzip the front a little
(c) change to something that fits better (like sweat pants)
(d) put off pant shopping for another day, or another season..
(e) change to a skirt
For now, it’s on her mind, so she’s sharing it. Pretty vocally, I might add.
My dad’s theory is that people just put on weight as they age. He goes away, annoyed again, and my parents go forth again, diverged in disagreement about whether my mom has indeed gained weight.